How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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