Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize