worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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