That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
