Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Let's get the cat blown out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
