Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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