So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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