Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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