it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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