so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
