I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize