Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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