i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
