Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
please don't ironically join a cult
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