Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
