took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
being pregnant is like rehab
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
