The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
