Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
