Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
