You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
