you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
