Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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