I think my vagina is haunted
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
