Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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