if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
