i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
