My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
did you just send me my own nude
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
