he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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