i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
