Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
