I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
