I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
