after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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