The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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