This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
