she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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