Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you never un-have a 4some
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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