It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize