ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
