I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
