He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
