I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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