I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize