just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
