writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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