Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
