he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
