Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
