In America we eat man semen.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, beer. Big fan.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
