Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
