Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
