Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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