Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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