Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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