Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
