filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
