Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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