I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize