The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize