but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
we should paint friendship bongs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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